"Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal the following 22 questions were actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials, and in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses...

1. "Now Doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"

2. "The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"

3. "Were you present when your picture was taken?"

4. "Were you alone or by yourself?"

5. "Was it you or your younger brother that was killed in the war?"

6. "Did he kill you?"

7. "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of collision?"

8. "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"

9. "How many times have you committed suicide?"

10. Q. "So the date of conception [of the baby] was the 8th of August?"
    A. "Yes."
    Q. "And what were you doing at that time?"

11. Q. "She had three children, right?"
    A. "Yes."
    Q. "How many of them were boys?"
    A. "None."
    Q. "Were there any girls?"

12. Q. "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"
    A. "Yes."
    Q. "And these stairs, did they go up as well?"

13. Q. "Mr. Slatery, you went on rather an elaborate honeymoon didn't you?"
    A. "I went to Europe sir."
    Q. "And, you took your new wife?"

14. Q. "How was your first marriage terminated?"
    A. "By death."
    Q. "And by whose death was it terminated?"

15. Q. "Can you describe the individual?"
    A. "He was about medium height and had a beard."
    Q. "Was this a male or a female?"

16. Q. "Is your presence here this morning pursuant to a depositon notice which I sent to your attorney?"
    A. "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."

17. Q. "Doctor, tell me, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
    A. "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."

18. Q. "All your responses must be oral, OK?, What school did you go to?"
    A. "Oral."

19  Q. "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?"
    A. "The autopsy started at around 8.30pm."
    Q. "And Mr Dennington was dead at that time?"
    A. "No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him."

20  Q. "You were shot in the fracas?"
    A. "No, I was shot between the fracas and the navel."

21  Q. "Are you qualified to give an urine sample?"
    A. "I have been since early childhood."

22. Q. "Doctor, before you perfomed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"  
    A. "No."
    Q. "Did you check for blood pressure?"
    A. "No."
    Q. "Did you check for breathing?"
    A. "No."
    Q. "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
    A. "No."
    Q. "How can you be sure doctor?"
    A. "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar"
    Q. "But could the patient have been alive nevertheless?"
    A. "It is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.".